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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Your Loving, Crippled Hand  For anyone who has been along for the whole wild ride - Thank you!    I very much appreciate your thoughts and comments!

As I tried to find the words to continue our story, I was at a loss.  When that happens, I start a "random thoughts" file.  You may have noticed from earlier posts, I have a LOT of random thoughts!  Usually those random thoughts are filed, forgotten or deleted.  However, when I looked back at this particular random thoughts file, it began to run together; it didn't look as disjointed as some of those files do.  I began rearranging the words; playing with the order.  I was hoping to find the right words to begin my post.  I didn't find the words I was looking for.  The words to pick our story up where I left off just weren't there.

Our story will continue another day.  Today I want to share the poem those disjointed random thoughts turned in to:

Your Loving, Crippled Hand

Walk beside me, mama
I’ll hold your crippled hand.
I want to hear your stories
Before you leave this land.

You’ve taught me how to be my best
And taught me how to pray.
I’ll do my best to keep you safe,
As danger comes your way.

You’ve taught me how to speak my mind
From you I learned to share.
I hope you know how much I love you,
How much I really care.

My mothers hands

I want to share your stories
So others understand
The lives you’ve touched and
love you’ve shown
with your loving, crippled hands.

by Brenda Van Matre Case


Tanya said...

I just found your blog today, and have read every single post. I would love to shake you to find the end of your story but I know you have to share it in your own time. Having been the caregiver for my Great-grandma, both Grandma's, a Grandfather, my Mother in the past, as well as being a RN for 20 years I am very familiar with the role. The past 5 years I have had to learn how to be a patient. I want you to know that your posts impact me on many different levels.

healthcare hostages said...

Tanya, you scared me for a minute! When I opened this comment my focus was immediately drawn to the center of the first sentence......I didn't know why you wanted to "shake" me!

I'm glad you took the time to read my posts and I hope you will continue to follow the story.

Thank you so much for your comment! I truly appreciate it!


Summer Cordova said...

What a beautiful poem! It brought tears to my eyes. Love you!!

healthcare hostages said...

Thank you Summer, I'm glad you liked it and I hope you weren't wearing mascara!

Love you too!

JM said...

What a very moving and touching tribute to your mother! So many things of this nature fall into the trap of being saccharine and overly-sentimental, but not this. The love expressed here for your mother shines through every word, simply, eloquently and beautifully. Thank you for sharing it with us all.

healthcare hostages said...

Thank you JM. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much for your kind words.

As always I so appreciate your thoughts & comments.

Anonymous said...

So far I've spent the better part of 2 days reading and re-reading your posts. My grandmother had RA, as did my mother (who died of it at 59), and now I have it. My daughter is starting to have joint pain in her hands and periods of fatigue. She's in Egypt (De-Nile), as we say.

As a nurse of nearly 50 years, now, I'm embarrassed at the callous cruelty of members of my profession, and I'm so sorry your dear mother ended up getting the brunt of it. Your town needs to be swept clear of medical and nursing incompetence! It's a pity the statute of limitations has passed and you can't sue her doctors. (In most states a lawsuit must be filed within 1-2 years of the occurrence.) And it's a pity cruelty by nurses and doctors is not malpractice - from a legal perspective.

My Momma developed RA at 45 when I was in my first year of nursing school. She kept going long past the time people thought she should - worked for 6 more years before she took disability retirement. Then she stayed at home and tried to supervise her mother who was in the early stages of dementia. During that time I was living in a different state, getting my Master's and having babies. When we moved back, I thought I could do the career AND be a good wife AND put hubby through his PhD AND take care of my mother. It was too much for me, and mother chose to go to a nursing home with my grandmother. Back then, nursing homes were, for the most part, much better than they are now - at least medically. I did have to go talk to the nursing staff and the director from time to time. Not because of nurse problems but because of non-licensed personnel - the aides. Mother worried that if I did that then she would be mistreated, but it was the best thing I could have done. Four of them were fired for 1) shouting at patients, 2) stealing patient possessions, 3) hitting patients, and 4) not giving patients the care they needed.

Not only was mother NOT mistreated as a result, but she got much improved care. In fact, she and grandmother (who shared her room) got better care than anyone else in the whole place.

When the staff know the patient's family is keeping an eye on things, they try to keep that family placated - at least when one is an advanced degree nurse!

I'm still reading. From my point of view, you have done the all right things for your mother. The only things you have done wrong is to beat yourself up for imagined mistakes and that big guilt problem you have! (smile)

Keep on Truckin' - and I'll Keep on Readin'
Love to you

healthcare hostages said...


Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this subject! I absolutely agree that if family has a strong presence when our loved ones are in the care of others, they are generally well cared for. I also agree that for the most part (at least in the nursing homes/ALF's) it is the unlicensed personnel not having the education they need to properly address the needs of many patients. Unfortunately, in our area, there seems to many licensed personnel that have lost touch with humanity. I know there are some good ones out there though, so I never quit looking! ;)

I hope you will continue to follow our story and offer your insights!

I so appreciate your sharing your history and your points of view! Please keep them coming!

I better keep on writing so you can keep on readin'!

Love back to you