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Saturday, November 9, 2013

We Needed A Miracle If you're "just tuning in" this post may leave you wondering what the heck I am rambling about, I hope you take the time to go back and review my earlier posts so you can catch up with our story. I very much appreciate your thoughts and comments.
For anyone who has been along for the whole wild ride - Thank you!

We Needed A Miracle

With my younger daughters’ wedding behind us and the first of the goals accomplished, our sites were set on what was to come.  The future held a lot of uncertainty for us; it also held a lot of hope and promise.  With absolutely no control over our collective futures, I reminded myself daily to “Let go and let God”; of course we all know that is sometimes easier said than done.   All I could do was follow the instructions the surgeon had given to mom and pray.  We needed a miracle.

Mom had to be off of the antibiotic for at least 2 weeks before the surgeon would culture her knee for infection, once that was done the surgery would be scheduled to remove the prosthetic knee that my mother had been sporting since 1987.  It was decided that mom would stop taking the Levoquin on May 6th 2013, which would more than prepare her system for the culture that would be drawn on May 30th.


 “Last time it was only a matter of days before you got sick and ended up back in the hospital”, the infectious disease doctor reminded mom, “I’d much rather you stop it on a Monday so I will be more readily available if there is a problem”.  I prayed hard that there wouldn't be a problem, but after mom stopped the antibiotic I was worried sick that there would be.

I also worried constantly about my daughter who was nearing the end of her second pregnancy and was starting to have some problems; her first pregnancy had resulted in an emergency C-Section, and a delightful baby boy.

I was still holding out hope for mom’s surgery to be scheduled just before my daughters’ baby was due to arrive, which was June 15th, 2013.  Since my daughter lived in the same city we traveled to for moms’ surgeons, I might have an opportunity to spend some time with my daughter and the baby while mom was in rehab.  My hopes were dashed when I received an email from the surgeon explaining that the surgery would likely be done six weeks after the cultures were drawn - which would make it the middle of July before the resection of her knee would be done.

On the 27th of May I was feeling disconcerted and out of sorts as we made our five hour trip for moms appointments on the 29th and 30th; I was heartbroken that I wouldn't be there when my granddaughter was born.  I was still trying to figure out a way that I could make another trip in two weeks when my daughter was due.  I didn't know who could take care of mom for more than a day or two if I left, I also knew I would worry about her endlessly and that wouldn't be a help to my daughter.

As we drove over the mountains I chatted with mom about possible scenarios of who could care for her while I was away.  We finally decided mom should just make the trip with me.  After all, there was no law that required us to have a doctor’s appointment to go; we could go for fun!  Besides, living long enough to meet her newest great granddaughter had been another of moms’ goals; it gave her something to focus on.  We had a plan!

Although I was pleased that mom had agreed to make the trip, something seemed to be nagging at me; I just knew we would not be traveling in another two weeks.  Something was wrong but I had no idea what it was.  I tried to put all the negativity out of my mind; I needed to focus on mom and the business at hand.  I didn't have time to give in to the tears that wanted to flow as I realized I would not be there on my daughters due date in mid June; the lump in my throat was so big it was painful.

I reminded myself to be thankful for what I had and felt some consolation that we would arrive with a full day to spare before the battery of appointments mom would have to endure.  The extra day would allow me some time to spend with my daughter, her husband and my grandson, which softened the blow that I wouldn't be there if my daughter needed me; that my granddaughter would likely be a full month old before I would meet her.

I prayed for a miracle.  I should qualify that, I prayed for ANOTHER miracle.  No, that’s not right either; I prayed for a LOT of miracles.

As we pulled in to the parking lot of the facility where moms first set of appointments were on the morning of the 29th of May, I thought it was a miracle we had made it in time.

As we finished the day’s appointments just under three hours later, I thought it had been a miracle that we had gotten through so quickly.

As we drove back across town through traffic, I realized it had been a miracle that mom seemed to be doing so well after quitting the antibiotic.

When we arrived back at the hotel I called my daughter to let her know we were done for the day and how things had gone.  She listened to my report of moms’ condition and the outcome of the days appointments before telling me her own news for the day.

With tears in my eyes I returned to the room to explain the new turn of events to my mother.  My daughters’ news would definitely change our plans.

“I don’t think we’re going to be able to go out to lunch after your appointment tomorrow, we’ll just grab something on the way back”, I knew mom would understand that I needed that time with my daughter; my mothers’ resilience and adaptability never ceased to amaze me.  I’m sure she might have been a little disappointed, but I had a plan to make it up to her!
As I lay in bed that night I prayed for yet another miracle.

I lost count of the many miracles The Lord had already blessed me with as I fell asleep that night.

Was it selfish of me to pray for more?

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